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I lived in Akron most of my life, and after 2 years of traveling abroad with my wife (yea... I can't believe somebody agreed to marry me either), we decided Akron is where the cheap hookers are, so we moved back.  I met my brother, Adam, in the 3rd grade, just after my history test.  I failed it and he laughed at me.  Since then, we've been like brothers.  I spend my time donating other people's possessions to the local pawn shop and finding new ways to melt butter (I've found 3).  My long term goals are to discover a cure for elbow dryness, become a loveable crime fighting pirate, and protest at the White House until they bring back Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip… and Fraggle Rock.